Romance Impaired

If you have an email account (or MySpace) and a cyber acquaintance that feels compelled to forward every hoax, tasteless joke list, and chain letter, then you may have skimmed and deleted the Good Sex chain letter. Like all chains, there is the obligatory threat of horrible things that will happen to you for not passing it along to 10 or 12 online acquaintances you hope to annoy with your petty forwards. The Good Sex “promise” is as follows:

…Now sex has been sent to you. The “Hot Sex Fairy” will visit you within four days of receiving this message provided you, in turn send it on. If you don’t then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate and your genitals will rot and fall off.

At first glance, you might dismiss the chain letter as a hoax. On further inspection, you will find that the letter touts many benefits of engaging in sexual activity. Read on as we uncover the truth behind its claims.

Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love, they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

The Health Benefits of Sex, an article by D. Zimmer at Ask Men.com, states, “In women, sex increases estrogen levels, which protects them against heart disease… this hormone also plays a huge role in a woman’s body scent.” There is no substantial scientific research to back up the sex as beauty treatment statement. While estrogen may contribute to better hair and skin conditions, don’t expect intercourse to be added to the service roster at your local spa.

Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

This is one exercise with guaranteed results. Not only is it pleasurable, you can also burn up to 150 calories during one half hour session. “[T]he average couple engages in sex for approximately 25 minutes a session only 3 times a week. A healthy rigorous hour of sex may burn even more than 300 calories,” says Zimmer’s article.

Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

Yes, orgasms do lead to euphoric feelings, but Dr. Neil of Relationship-Talk.com warns that clinical depression is not cured or satisfied by sex. He says, “First of all, too much sex without meaning can in fact be a symptom of and a passageway to depression. Second, all those endorphins just don’t do the trick when real depression is involved.” Sex may not be an instant cure, but it does allow you to forget about your troubles for an hour or so.

Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

If you’re looking for a good night’s sleep without the aid of pills and darts, a romp in the sack may be the prescription for you. The previously released endorphins are hormone-like chemicals resembling morphine. After the orgasm, there is a period of extreme relaxation and a sense of serenity. Men typically doze off during this time, as women, pumped up with extra estrogen, want to wax romantic for a while. Zimmer says, “ Plenty of people who enjoy a regular dose of sex convey that they sleep much better during the night.”

Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

As silly as it may sound, this is a fact. The Advanced Dentistry newsletter claims kissing helps reduce the incidence of cavities “because it stimulates the flow of saliva that buffers and neutralizes oral bacteria acid, … Kissing is actually nature’s cleansing process.”

Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

Once again, those endorphins are at work. The increased blood flow and endorphin levels can help to relieve regular headaches. But according to a report on WomensHealth.org, sex can also cause headaches. For most, the sex headache (coital cephalgia) is a combination of raised blood pressure and muscle tension, not by doing it too fast- even though men have the higher rate of sex headaches.

In addition, sex can help to improve circulation, ease tension, boost self-esteem, and build an intimate bond with your partner. We have found sex to be not only great fun, but also good for you. It’s like discovering a cheesecake has a lower fat content. This is such helpful information; you’ll want to pass it on to your friends. Maybe the “Hot Sex Fairy” will leave something good under your pillow.

The Curable Romantic: Advice for the Romance-Impaired is now available at Amazon.com and other online retailers. See our website for more reading and purchasing options.

www.thecurableromantic.com